You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
