I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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