i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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