TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
