1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
