8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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