I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
