Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
