We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
