What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
