Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
