my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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