And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
