Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
