you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
