she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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