I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I need to stop coming to work sober
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize