You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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