he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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