I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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