If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
where are you?
Hypothermia
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
