RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's just like the Real World with babies
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
