At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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