im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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