I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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