So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
