oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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