I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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