If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
