I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
