we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
