You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
