you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
