Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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