I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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