Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
