when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
