I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
