I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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