I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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