that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The power of my boobs compel you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
