16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
