brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
