It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
