STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
