brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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