As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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