So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize