Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants