i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?