I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
