hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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