We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She told me I should be a condom model.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
