I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
