stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
