My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She announced her abortion via fbk
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
