if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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