Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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