My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
