wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My vagina is very pro this idea
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