I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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