well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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