think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
